Analyzing the Introduction Stage of Knapp’s Relational Model

Knapp’s Relational Model provides a solid framework for how the interactions of those involved result in relationships coming together or coming apart. As I read through the model and began to explore how my personal interpersonal relationships fit the mold, I realized that some relationships – specifically the longest-lasting ones – go through the cycle more than once. That some relationships ebb and flow and end and start anew.

 

I see this trend most evident in my life with my closest friend. We met in 8^th grade and immediately hit it off. He was a funny kid most accurately described as the class clown. I liked him because – like most kids who are new to a school – I felt isolated and anxious, but his tomfoolery made everyone in the classroom laugh, including myself. In that small way, I felt part of the whole. He sat right behind me and would ask me about The Simpsons or if I’d heard a certain song. Knapp mentions appearances playing a role in the introduction stage which makes sense because it didn’t hurt that he had on the latest pair of Jordan sneakers, and I had only seen them on TV. I think it is interesting that, at this age, the formal introduction whereby you exchange information was not carried out directly. He learned my name because I had to stand in front of the class and say my pertinents (name, age, favorite color, and TV show) and I learned his because the teacher was always using it in reprimand.

I even went so far as to emulate his style in those early years. Integrating, anyone?

To make a long story short, our relationship has gone up and down over the past 20 or so years. It has never actually ended or required foundational introductions but for all intents and purposes it also kind of has. For example, two years ago we stopped talking. We didn’t fall out or anything. Today, I can identify that period of our relationship as going through the stages of differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, and avoiding. Ignorant to Knapp’s model at the time I thought of the situation as simply drifting apart. We still followed each other’s socials and reciprocated the noncommittal “like” here and there, but we carried no meaningful interactions. When we did reconnect, I didn’t have to ask his name or anything, but in a sense, we did have to reintroduce ourselves after a 2-year hiatus.